In case you thought astronomy unimportant...

One of the pleasures of being a professional astronomer is that occasionally someone, somewhere in the world, will think you are absolutely critical to their continued existence. It is almost never justified, but always entertaining.

That moment came to most of the UC Berkeley astronomy department recently, when we were each sent the email below.

By the way, any similar solicitations by potential funding agencies should know that we will happily send your message into space. We just don't do it for the other crazy people.

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Hi,

If you are beaming interstellar radio messages into the universe for your scientific experiments, you may consider using any or all of the information provided in my email signature or the attached PDF document. I would like to let the ETs know of my existence. We may be able to make contact with highly intelligent and advanced space-faring alien civilizations with time travel capabilities one day and perhaps request them to give all mankind immortality from the very beginning of human civilization. If alien lifeforms can reach us, they probably travel faster than the speed of light or transit through worm holes.

Thank you very much.

Yours sincerely,

Mr. (signature and all personal information redacted upon later request)

For online photos of me when I was a kid, please scroll down to the bottom of my signature.
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Dip(Mechatronics) BEng(Hons)(Mechanical Engineering)

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